Timberly’s Totally Transparent Top Ten Tplaylist [The T Is Silent]

Yesterday I ran a marathon which really means that I stumbled through it at my typically glacial pace. The bad news about being a slow runner is I’m on the course forever: it’s cold, it’s exhausting, and it’s occasionally a smidgeon demoralizing. The good news is I get plenty of time to make it through a good chunk of my iPod library. Coming in at a couple thousand tunes, my running playlist has plenty of variety: Beatles, Alabama Shakes, Flipron, AC/DC, ZZ Top, Metallica, Johnny Cash, Mika, and, yes, even a little (very little) Pitbull.

It’s this variety that made it surprising that in the five hours I was out on the course that I discovered that I have six songs about cellophane. Who knew that this transparent product was so popular? No longer merely the stuff of leftover dinners or frustrated horny housewives who have shrink-wrapped themselves trying to surprise their disinterested husbands, cellophane is practically de rigueur.

So here are the six cellophane songs in my playlist with a few others I found out there.

1. Chicago (The Musical) – Mr. Cellophane:

To the disappointment of many XYs no doubt, cellophane has no place in Cell Block Tango. But John C. Reilly does a pretty stand up job of being transparently sweet, simple, and a little touch of pathetic all at once in this imitation vaudeville. (Fun Fact: Don’t get confused like another YouTuber. Phillip Seymour Hoffman died of heroin overdose. John C. is still among us.)

 

2. Sara Jackson-Holman – Cellophane:

Sara came my way through one of the shows broadcasting on NPR on Sundays. The boom chuck of the piano sold me on first listen but her voice over it makes for a catchy, foot-tapping song.

 

3. The Beatles – Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds:

Who doesn’t have this track? Now listen to it again and find today’s magic word.

 

4. Amanda Ghost – Cellophane:

I have no idea how I got this song. Best bet: I, uh, borrowed it from someone else’s collection. Why I like it? It reminds me of a song that’d be part of a soundtrack that’d be in a movie scene with Montana bars as a backdrop. And heeeeeey, where did I go to college?

 

(Postscript: After writing this, I learned that the song actually was in a soundtrack – to Sweet November.)

5. No Doubt – Cellophane Boy:

I’m not a fan of No Doubt: Their good songs are over-played and their other songs just leave me with a feeling of “meh.” In this track, I feel like Gwen Stefani may be channeling the sensation a cow giving birth and giving it voice. But I do like the brass section.

6. Ladyhawke – Cellophane:

There are two reasons I have this song: I have a nostalgic fondness for the movie Ladyhawke and the album is called Anxiety. It’s like it was “meant to be…”

 

Tsix Plus Tfour Makes Ten:

So I have only five on my playlist and I would’ve stopped there happily if only “five” began with a T. But it doesn’t. So here are five more I grabbed from YouTube, chosen purely because a) the presence of the word “cellophane” and b) they were lesser known (at least to me) artists/songs. No opinions, just sharing.

7. The Space Machines – Nowhere Again:

Beyond the first few measures, it’s a little ambient for my tastes but the first word is cellophane so it works.  

8. Army of Lovers – We Are the Universe:

Atkins lovers, rejoice! There’s protein in their air, at least according to this Swedish-based dance group. Wrap yourself in cellophane while you’re at it but not before you check out the opening image on this track. (Watch out for the rocket in someone’s pocket.) (Fun Fact: Remember the big song "Crucified" from the early 90s? That's the only song from this group that I knew - still singable.)

9. Riot – Little Miss Death:

This wasn’t on my playlist but I have no idea why it wasn’t. It starts off with the wedding march and then goes to 80s metal. Also, of course, the lyrics include the word “cellophane.”

10. Sugarloaf – Woman:

It would give me all kinds of hipster cred if I could honestly claim to have already had this song on my iPod. Imagine it: “Hey, man, I liked Sugarloaf before they made it big!” Except that Sugarloaf predates even my existence as a twinkle in my dad’s eye.

 

Bonus: There’s an alternative metal rock band named “Cellophane.” Hey, the more you know! Here’s their song “Down.”