Forget judging a book by its cover, most prospective readers
won’t get beyond a title. Publishers know this which is why Random House,
Penguin Books, Harper Collins, Barnes & Noble are engaging in an effort to
reboot once-famous classics with titles that share the spirit of the most
popular internet memes.
1. This Old Lady Taught a Young Man a Lesson
about Love He’ll Never Forget – Great Expectations
People went crazy for the teenager
who took his grandmother to prom. You don’t need to tell them that this story
is about the soul-crushing experience one young man had after falling in love
with someone too broken to return his affections. Let them find out on their
own.
2. How I Met Our Mother – Oedipus Rex
With a little less hilarity but just as
great a story, Penguin Books will release the re-titled Oedipus Red at the same
time that 20th Century Fox releases the collectors’ edition of all
nine seasons of that semi-popular TV show of a similar name.
3. 8 Words That’ll Change How You Feel about
Relationships – Gone with the Wind
Frankly, my dear, I don’t…want to spoil the ending.
You’ll just have to read the book.
4. Middle Schoolers Need a Dictionary to Read
this Book…Do You? – A Series of Unfortunate Events
Some adults turn up their noses at
children’s fiction but those same noses love the challenge of seeing who’s
smarter than a 5th grader. Are you?
5. 123 Times You Saw the Hand of God but May
Not Have Realized It - The Bible
This tagline makes The Bible into a
spiritual seek-and-find. Can you find the 123 miraculous manifestations
of the Almighty in the world’s most popular book? Rumor has it that in addition
to including a special insert of the Ten Commandments in replica stone, Barnes
& Noble is also partnering with Parker Brothers to include a bingo card so
that locating the miracles can be an entertaining party game!
6. 20 Shockingly Honest Confessions – Madame
Bovary
With stories ripped straight from
TMZ, this novel is Lindsey Lohan, the Kardashians, and Juan Pablo all in one.
7. What This Adonis Has in His Closet Will
Surprise You – The Picture of Dorian Grey
This gorgeous young man has more in his closet than
attire.
8. Home Decorating Drove This Woman Crazy! –
The Yellow Wallpaper
Crazy home decorating isn’t a surprise to
anyone who’s left HGTV on for too long, but home decorating that makes you
crazy? That’s the exclusive province of Charlotte Gilman.
9. This Little Girl Fell Down a Hole – Open
Here to See What Happens Next! – Alice in Wonderland
We could tell you what happens next, but that would just
be…mad, wouldn’t it?
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