Forget judging a book by its cover, most prospective readers won’t get beyond a title. Publishers know this which is why Random House, Penguin Books, Harper Collins, Barnes & Noble are engaging in an effort to reboot once-famous classics with titles that share the spirit of the most popular internet memes.
1. This Old Lady Taught a Young Man a Lesson about Love He’ll Never Forget – Great Expectations
People went crazy for the teenager who took his grandmother to prom. You don’t need to tell them that this story is about the soul-crushing experience one young man had after falling in love with someone too broken to return his affections. Let them find out on their own.
2. How I Met Our Mother – Oedipus Rex
With a little less hilarity but just as great a story, Penguin Books will release the re-titled Oedipus Red at the same time that 20th Century Fox releases the collectors’ edition of all nine seasons of that semi-popular TV show of a similar name.
3. 8 Words That’ll Change How You Feel about Relationships – Gone with the Wind
Frankly, my dear, I don’t…want to spoil the ending. You’ll just have to read the book.
4. Middle Schoolers Need a Dictionary to Read this Book…Do You? – A Series of Unfortunate Events
Some adults turn up their noses at children’s fiction but those same noses love the challenge of seeing who’s smarter than a 5th grader. Are you?
5. 123 Times You Saw the Hand of God but May Not Have Realized It - The Bible
This tagline makes The Bible into a spiritual seek-and-find. Can you find the 123 miraculous manifestations of the Almighty in the world’s most popular book? Rumor has it that in addition to including a special insert of the Ten Commandments in replica stone, Barnes & Noble is also partnering with Parker Brothers to include a bingo card so that locating the miracles can be an entertaining party game!
6. 20 Shockingly Honest Confessions – Madame Bovary
With stories ripped straight from TMZ, this novel is Lindsey Lohan, the Kardashians, and Juan Pablo all in one.
7. What This Adonis Has in His Closet Will Surprise You – The Picture of Dorian Grey
This gorgeous young man has more in his closet than attire.
8. Home Decorating Drove This Woman Crazy! – The Yellow Wallpaper
Crazy home decorating isn’t a surprise to anyone who’s left HGTV on for too long, but home decorating that makes you crazy? That’s the exclusive province of Charlotte Gilman.
9. This Little Girl Fell Down a Hole – Open Here to See What Happens Next! – Alice in Wonderland
We could tell you what happens next, but that would just be…mad, wouldn’t it?